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| Friday, August 31, 2007 |
I love the way she did small little things to make me smile.
And the silly litte actions that could make me laugh.
I'll keep the sms till one day when I needed someone badly for comfort,
I'll take it out to reedem my 11th minutes of hug.
Thanks Miss Ou.
There's always a time I'll want to give up,
cause I find myself too selfish to keep you by my side.
Cause I know you'll find someone better.
Someone that can share anything & everything that you like.
The 'little girl' you're looking for.
I don't bare to,
cause I love you.
I just want you.
No matter how hard,
I'll still fight.
The love between a seagull & a fish
is only an accidental occurrence.
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| 5:17 PM |
| Thursday, August 30, 2007 |
I choose not to think about it once I step out of the exam hall.
Cause I know the more I think,
the more worry I'll get,
the more emo I'll become.
No point thinking,
cause the papers were up,
there's no way you can change anything,
so what's the point of habouring it,
when it only kills your brain cells.
I choose not to face the fact,
I choose to throw it aside,
till one day there's no place for me to hide,
I'll stand up to face the hurting reality.
That's me,
dumb & silly.
:(
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| 3:31 PM |
| Tuesday, August 28, 2007 |
Many say we ain't compatible.
Many say we won't last.
We came so far, cause our heart are as one.
We had different thinking,
different aim,
different background,
but I believe our heart still beat as one.
That was what kept me holding on.
Since our love are there,
we'll be able to go through thick and thin together.
But what happened recently proved me wrong.
I never ask much from you.
I just need someone who's able to take care of me,
wrap me with comfort,
try all means just to see me smile.
But it seems hard for you to do so.
Or am I asking too much from you?
I wanted us to be happy,
I wanted us to move on,
but it seems like everything I did was wrong.
The you I fell in love with seems to have turned into a shadow.
I miss the you that will
stop me from hurting myself,
hush me when I cry,
worry for me when I had a chest pain,
try his best to put a smile on my face,
promise me tomorrow will be a better day,
and the you with the soft heart.
I kept forcing myself to study,
telling myself give it my best shot.
My brain was working on with revisions,
but my heart went somewhere else insearch for you.
Will you come back to me like before?
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| 1:26 PM |
| Monday, August 27, 2007 |
Loving a person is about loving the person for who he/she is.
Accepting the person's character and personality.
It's always you who're not happy about me.
Not happy with what I do, even small little things.
I gave you two choices,
you initiate a break up with me,
or accepting me for who I am,
You choose to accept me for who I am,
but from the way you reply, it seems so unwilling.
Why must we always quarrel over little things.
Why can't you just accept me for who I am?
You say I've to be automatic with the things I do.
If everything I've to follow the way you like,
then it isn't me who you're loving.
It's just someone who you'll want to love.
I love you for who you are.
If I could do the same,
why can't you do it to?
And not expecting me to be who you want me to be.
I hate it when we quarrel.
Especially during my exam periods.
It's not the first neither the second time.
I send you 3 msges today, miss called you I-don't-know-how-many-times.
You made me worried for you the whole day.
But you seems no guilt when you called me back.
Knowing that for the whole day I can't concentrate,
cause my brain was studying, but my heart was searching for you.
For the past few days,
I've been forcing myself to study,
telling myself that I can't afford to fail.
But I'm worried/scared, I will.
Cause it's always the case whenever I step into the exam hall and look at the papers,
my mind went bleak for a moment,
and part of what I studied were gone.
When everything seems just so familiar.
All I need is your motivation.
Like how I tell you to hold on during your exam period,
how I tell you everything will be fine with me around,
how I tried hard to cheer you up & relieve your stress.
I'm not as strong as what many see me as.
I'm just like a morning glory, clinging on to you.
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| 1:00 PM |
| Wednesday, August 22, 2007 |
Dear Siting mama,
I know the fact was hard to face,
I know it's hurting, disappointing.
There's no point blaming yourself again and again.
All you can do now is to organise your time well,
and spend more time on your studies.
I'm sure with will and determination,
you can make it through.
I got faith in you,
like how you always have faith in me!
And not forgetting your health.
Must take care of yourself alright?
And remember to have your regular meals despite how busy you are.
I miss you.
Hope we'll meet up soon.
And I can have my strawberry milk tea with mini pearl!
-HUGS-
(:
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| 11:52 PM |
| Wednesday, August 15, 2007 |
Yogurt Yan Yan, Fire Sparkles, SpongeBob,
Biscuits,
Chocolates,
Donuts,
Jelly Beans,
Loves,
Cares,
Concerns,
Words.
Love many many many. <3
I want to be happy with you. That's all I asked for. (:
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| 2:48 PM |
| Sunday, August 12, 2007 |
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I am mentally & physically tired. I'm crying while typing this. I hate it when I have to wipe away my tears immediatly to prevent my parents from seeing.
There's many times I feel like giving up. But love doesn't allow, time doesn't allow, my care & concern doesn't allow to.
I'm still clinging on to you, cause I need to, I want to, I love to, I crave to, I'm used to, I'm dependent to, I don't bare to let you go.
I know everything have to come to an end. But let me sleep in your comfy arms for now, for, I'll know when to wake up.
I felt so frustrated, Just feel like fucking bang the wall and get into deep sleep. Night.
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| 5:04 PM |
| Saturday, August 11, 2007 |
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I'm very sad.
very very sad.
Again, I'm wetting my pillow.
Blanket is the only comfort I wanna relie on.
Uncontrollable is the word.
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| 3:26 PM |
| Friday, August 10, 2007 |
We bade farewell to grandad on the day of National Day.
Went St Ann's church for prayers,
bade our solemn farewells and paid our final respects.
There were songs we sang,
hoping that our grandad will be fine in the arms of god,
hoping that god will take care of him in the far far away.
Our last stop was Mandai Crematorium.
That was where:
we send him off,
our last goodbye,
his body turned into ashes,
and lastly, his final resting place.
It's my first time going through these ceremony,
I holded on to my tears,
cause I'm not gonna let him worry.
I didn't know why my grandma didn't see him off for the last time.
Maybe she didn't bare to,
As they have been through so many ups & downs along their 60 years of life.
I'm sure she misses him too,
though he made my grandma worried all day long,
though he made my grandma sad all the time.
Normally when we lose our loved ones,
we are grieved because we miss the companionship
and shared memories we’ve had in the past.
However in life,
there are many things about tomorrow we don’t seem to understand
but we know who holds tomorrow
and we know who holds our hands.
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| 10:42 AM |
| Thursday, August 09, 2007 |
My grandad left us to a far far away.
From there,
he'll be free from suffering,
from needles all over his hands,
from bacteria attacks,
from breathing through the mask,
from eating through tubes,
from growing thin till bones was all I see,
from lying down all day at the hospital bed.
I'll miss you grandad,
hope things will be better for you in another world.
If fate allows,
perhaps next future you'll be someone dear to me again.
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| 7:02 PM |
| Monday, August 06, 2007 |
First row, right: Mitchy (Billy's sister), Cady, Shi Jia, Hui Ying & Normah (sweetheart)
Last row, right: Victor, Billy, Fione, Syirin, Shikin, Eileen, May & Ryan.
The family bonding,
the warmth, care, concern & laughter,
the songs from Ryan's disc,
I'm missing it.
There's nothing I can find at LP,
but to be independent and relie on myself.
Maybe it's just the start,
it takes time to adapt.
But for the pass few days,
there ain't any good impression,
but bad onces.
By the way,
went to watch sneak preview with yan.
The Secert.
It's Jay Chou’s directorial debut that deals with the memory of first love. I rate it 5 out of 5. Tear-ed during the movie. Gonna watch it for the 2nd time tomorrow with Lin!
Hope BJ will be able to hit their target this August.
Cross fingers and pray hard.
Wish you lucks guys.
(:
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| 1:34 AM |
| Friday, August 03, 2007 |
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Proudly presents to you,
Lonut & Ham Ji Pan ! It took me a dollar to catch Lonut with the red nose.
And as I tried, I failed cause the first one was just by luck.
After some observant, I handle the technics of it
and caught Ham Ji Pan which make a pair.
They're Exclusive Best Friend, just like Lin Lin & I. Recently, you've been stress up with your upcoming exams.
But I always belives in 'You earn what you sore.'
Put your 100% attention, determination & concentration,
and I'm sure you'll make it throught.
I'll be here and give you moral support.
The tough period will be gone,
just like sunshine after a rain.
Baby, wish you lucks*
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| 12:54 AM |
| Thursday, August 02, 2007 |
My first day at LP ain't good.
I'm full shift that day and I'm being told to do all the housekeeping,
and packed the messy dices.
Feel so minor over there.
Maybe other working days will be better.
I'll have to be strong,
cause I won't let BJ down.
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| 11:08 AM |
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| & memory lane |
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